"Hungerstrike"

Second Episode

   HUNGERSTRIKE

(DEVOURED FROM WITHIN

Where do I start?....if it was the end....where?...or..should I start at the end?....for the end of all this...was the beginning......
The battle was....simply....the hardest and most painful one I have had.....(so....far...?...)
It seems to me that the so-called "eating disorders" is a subject that has not been explored as deep as it needs to be.....
I did suffer, at different points in my life, from all the main E.D. known (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder,etc)......and so...I ought to say that IT IS NOT WHAT MOST PEOPLE THINK IT IS....there's far more to it than what we can comprehend....more than anything IT IS A FORM OF POSSESSION.....a serious and abominable DEMONIC possession....
I did faced Satan....in the mirror.....i faced it.........(and that was far more than what I could bare on earth)
To all my brothers...and specially sisters......who are suffering (or have suffered in the past)...living a hell.....dying at Satan's Feast....
to everyone who has been devoured from within....everyone who has been stricken by hunger....everyone who has been on a hunger-strike....

(and..yes Kai...yes!..you were right...it was a terrific night..)

.....and....to start to get in the right (wrong?) frame of mind....I'd like to share this film with you all:

Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story from Chris on Vimeo.

It's about Karen Carpenter and the nightmare and struggle she went through whilst dealing with her demons/addictions/eating disorders. It's an amazing piece of art, done entirely using Barbie dolls.....The film never got the attention and recognition it deserves, due in part to the fact that Richard Carpenter (her brother and musical partner) didn't want the film to be shown and filled a lawsuit against Haynes, wining subsequently in 1990 withdrawing the film for good.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Haynes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superstar:_The_Karen_Carpenter_Story

http://www.vimeo.com/344856

  Hungerstrike(MP3) by elamorte


  Hungerstrike(.WAV) by elamorte

I still don't understand
what kept us blind
 in that vicious game,
when everything we had was just the wreckage...
distorted memories of former lives...

From the universe...
disengaged..
I was looking for a friend
to despise this world together
this malignant tumour strangle

...but we fell...on life  again..
despite all the carnage
we fell on that blood
we fell on the world...

(...it's too late i'm affraid....i have eaten the body of the enemy..and now it's eating me..from the inside)

I got back
my lunatic eyes,
whilst your hunger
was dining you slow,
excrement and skin was all that matter,
with absent minds we missed the last chance..

...but we fell...on life  again..
despite all the carnage
we fell on that blood
we fell on the world...

I still don't understand
what kept us blind
 in that vicious game,
when everything we had was just the wreckage...
distorted memories of former lives...

CREDITS

DimasGestas: Synths, Voices, Sound design and Sound Manipulation
???? : Fretless Bass

Recorded at:
B-612 (Zipacon, Colombia) by Bernardo Jimenez
and
Alterna (Bogota, Colombia) by Jox

Mixed by Bernardo Jimenez at B-612

Mastered by Felipe Lopez at
Onda Selecta

Artwork by Sarah Genner 

(based on Goya's "el sueño de la razon produce monstruos")

Special thanks to Manuel Borda for showing me alternative ways....alternative paths.....for making that solo possible...you made it possible...; Sean Slinger for HOME (and all what that really means).....by the way....I wrote this song in your living room...on a dark day....in dark Man/chest/ache...in dark dark dark....; Steph Walker....when I wrote it...I was feeling like it was the right vehicle for me to share with you what I was going through...; Sarah Genner....for...despising the world..along...with me....; Dogs and Cats at the Fields of Dreams....you opened my eyes.....to the hell i was creating....bite by bite.....bite bite!; Amir..for taking me..to Fields of Dreams..... (SummerShame..); my brothers and sister......, hey Raf!...thanks for the spaceship you gave me....the one that cried for me....the one in which i've been crying for years; Lesley and Dave...we all together did share in holy common-union...when I needed the most; Carolina.....you know..when I've been devoured......;and finally....mother Olga...the comforting voice..at the other end...of the line....of the oceans..of dreams.....my beginning....my end.....